If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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