I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
