Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
