we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
