It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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