Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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