is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
