He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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