If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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