It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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