I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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