JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
