I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm too high and old for this...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
