yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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