Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
