apparently the secret to your success is patron
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
