Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
