She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think my fart just growled at me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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