Yo dont text me then not text me
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
