He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
