So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
