I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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