I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
