So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
