I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
