i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
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No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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