therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just threw up on my dentist
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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