Your mouth is God's brothel.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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