Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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