There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
