Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize