i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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