wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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