I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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