I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
