as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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