Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
