so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
