in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
