Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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