She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
