Your face is a jimmy john
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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