Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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