Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
