I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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