been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
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I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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