You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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