I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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