I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
