yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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