i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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