So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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