guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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