I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
me + whiskey = a bad person
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
