Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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