I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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