His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
that is very illegal...i love you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize