Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
