Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
