Don't make out with my wife yet
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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