I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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