his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
