I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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