you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
