If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
